Adversity doesn’t discriminate, says resilience researcher Dr. Lucy Hone.
Whether you’ve struggled with death of a loved family member or friend, lived through a natural disaster, been bullied, coped with mental illness or been fired from a job, you’ve had to deal with tough times.
And when those times come, you’re often made to feel the victim.
Why did this happen to you?
It can become easy to fall into the habit of focusing on negative things in your life.
To feel powerless in the midst of your anguish.
As a resilience researcher, adjunct professor at the University of Canterbury, and co-director of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resistance, Hone published books and articles as well as presentations about resilience.
But when she experienced the unexpected death of her own 12-year-old daughter, Hone found herself overwhelmed with grief.
And she found advice from grief leaflets and resources unhelpful.
She turned her back on the advice and conducted her own experiment. Which led to her developing strategies to navigate the tough times.
Hone’s three strategies help you become more resilient, so you can overcome your suffering and pain.
She explains how your actions can help you rise above the adversity and find hope.
Her strategies are:
- Simple (as she says, they
aren’t rocket science)
- Available to everyone
- Only require a willingness to give them a try
According to Hone, one strategy prompted more positive emails, messages, and letters than any other:
Asking yourself whether what you’re doing, the way you’re thinking, the way you’re acting is helping or harming you, puts you back in the driver’s seat.
It gives you some control over your decision-making.
Check out her 16-minute talk to learn how you can develop resilient skills.
We all encounter difficult times in our lives, when awful things happen and grief and pain can overtake us.
Hone reminds us that while it won’t be easy, using the three strategies can help.
Personally, after watching Hone’s talk, I’ve starting a new habit of accepting the good. I’m documenting three good things that happen to me each day.
Actually writing them down so I can read them at the end of the week or month.
How about you? Have you developed resilient strategies to help you overcome loss or grief?